Self-identity

DYSPRAXIA & MASCULINITY

Emasculate: Definition (v) to deprive (a man) of his male role or identity.


This is a sensitive topic and everyone will have a different perspective so please bear in mind that you may disagree emphatically. Dyspraxic ladies I appreciate it is no picnic for you as application of makeup and walking and eating daintily and gracefully is not an easy thing. Think David Walliams’ character Eddie Howard from Little Britain.


If you subscribe to traditionally held gender roles, then being a guy with dyspraxia is no picnic. You may not be able to drive and things like DIY may send you into a cold sweat. Equally past school sports day trauma might mean you’re not the sporty type and couldn’t care about the transfer deadline or the match on TV last night. Being unable to talk knowledgeably or confidently about such things can have a detrimental affect on our self esteem and confidence to compete with others and we can start to think what is the point.


I’m not great at DIY but like to have a go but obviously I steer clear of things like chain saws and circular saws. I was a bit upset when a friend laughed at fact that I’d got a set of screwdrivers one Christmas but screw him I want to at least try and defy the notion of my not being able to do DIY. I’ve done battle with flat packs and while the sighs and foul language may be frequent I usually prevail.


Not driving is a sore point for me as my visual impairment means I’m condemned to the indignity and vagaries of public transport and sadly people see it as a major minus point if you don’t have wheels. I can manage a bike but that doesn’t seem to cut it. Still I say it demonstrates commitment if you have braved public transport or a long walk to go and meet a date.


I once lost out on a date as I was told my prospective date I’d been with some friends to see some rare Daffodils. Who’d have thought that showing my sensitive side and interest in nature would prompt the reaction that she now didn’t think she wanted to know me.


Perhaps she thought I’d steal her best frock and ruin her high heels as I gaily skipped through the daffodils tearing them from the ground. scandalising everyone, including the local Wildlife Trust whose special site it was!


I still think I had a lucky escape but maybe I should have just lied and said I was going out to catch kill and eat woodland creatures before (or after) downing 9 pints of wife beater and picking a fight with a bear!


If you have been affected by this article please seek support. The Campaign Against Living Miserably. https://www.thecalmzone.net, the Samaritans, Mind or someone who will listen.


Compensation unfortunately cannot and will not be paid for split sides.
Tom was diagnosed with Dyspraxia c1988 by an Educational Psychologist around about the time the Dyspraxia Foundation was founded. Nobody bothered to explain it to him, or possibly just as likely he wasn’t/wouldn’t have listened.


About 20 Years later it was all explained to him and he started to understand that it was more than just his visual impairment and he became less hard on himself for his perceived failures but is still a frustrated perfectionist who never took up transvestism either.

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Tom was diagnosed with Dyspraxia c1988 by an Educational Psychologist around about the same time the Dyspraxia Foundation was founded. Nobody bothered to explain it to him, or possibly just as likely he wasn’t/wouldn’t have listened. About 20 Years later it was all explained to him and he started to understand that it was more than just his visual impairment and he became less hard on himself for his perceived failures but is still a frustrated perfectionist.
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