I’m starting this post on the first anniversary of receiving the report of my assessment for Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), the clinical term for dyspraxia.
My report was very conclusive: ‘He demonstrated great difficulties with coordinating gross motor skills, fine motor skills, balance, visual-motor skills and sensory processing. These significantly impact on his ability to participate in a range of daily living activities including self-care, productivity at home, work and leisure.’
This brought home to me that there is too much dyspraxia-associated anxiety in my life. My assessor told me that many people with dyspraxia experience anxiety because of their problems coping with a world which doesn’t allow for their needs. The NHS website confirms the link between dyspraxia and mental health conditions.
Many practical aspects of life make me very anxious. One example is that my hands don’t work as well as they should. They have no physical defects; the problem is that they won’t necessarily go where I want them to. And when they finally reach the right position, they don’t usually do what I tell them. This means that I can’t properly undertake physical activities such as sport and DIY. If I have to try them, I get very scared.
Some years ago a group of us at work volunteered to paint the inside of a community hall. I still cringe at my pathetic efforts to put the paint in the right place. The warden of the hall was very patient with us but I kept getting things wrong. Luckily my colleagues were much more capable than me. and overpainted my mistakes. My poor practical skills have led to my house becoming a mess. Family and friends have helped me but the mess still remains. I don’t always maintain the improvements they’ve introduced.
I know that I should try some DIY, and there are no doubt many instructional videos on YouTube. I know that people just ‘have a go’ at difficult things and succeed, but I can’t persuade myself to even try. The consequences could be worse than the situation is now. And that’s why my house is in such a horrible state. I am ashamed of it and worry about what people will think if they come in.
My anxiety makes it virtually impossible to ring up tradespeople to get them to do jobs. I know they will ask me questions I don’t know the answer to. Typically for a dyspraxic, I find it difficult to answer sudden unexpected questions. However, I recently had a positive experience with one of the on-line trades sites. That is progress. I would be interested to know how other people cope with their lack of practical skills.